Agent Three-Way
by Sovereign and Unbroken
Summary: Agent Three has been feeling down lately. Callie and Marie take it upon themselves to make him feel better.
1. Agent Three-Way

Agent Three exhaled, and emptied half of his bottle of water in a few gulps. He immediately felt better, and wasn't so disappointed about his recent loss. Looking out at the crowd, Three could pick out the heads of his recent teammates and enemies. His eyes locked onto the face of the pretty, pink-tentacled girl who was on his team. Since Three used a shooter, and she used a charger, they had spent a decent portion of the match watching each other's backs. They had saved one another's rears no less than four times each, and Three couldn't help but feel there was a connection there.

Plus, she had one of the nicest racks Three had ever seen.

With his mind made up, Three squared his shoulders and made his way over to her, his gear-bag slung over his shoulder. She was sitting on a bench in front of the Booyah Base, her bag sitting on the ground beside her feet, sipping from a green metal bottle. She glanced at three as he approached, but only turned to him when he was a few paces away.

"Hey." Three said, giving a small wave.

"Hi…" The girl replied, eyeing Three suspiciously. Realization dawned on her face a second later. "Oh! You're the guy from the turf war."

"Yeah," Three gave a nod, and put on his most winning smile. "Can I sit?" The girl motioned to the empty spot beside her. Three set his bag down on the ground, and sat down beside her. He exhaled. "So, fun match, eh?"

"I'll say," the girl replied with a chuckle. She shook her head and sighed. "That idiot with the roller messed up the whole thing, though. Kept running off like a madman, getting himself splatted."

"Yeah." Three leaned back in his seat for a moment, before his eyes flicked over to the girl's bag. "So, what kind of charger do you use?"

The girl's eyes twinkled, and she bent to fish her weapon out of her bag. "I use a Splatterscope. I love the range, and the charge rate is decent. It's heavy, but I usually get along fine." She gave him a smile. "But I do even better when there's someone like you on my team, willing to hang back with me." She looked back at Three, and gave her charger an appreciative pat. "What about you?"

Three returned her smile, and took out his shooter. "I like the Tentatek Splattershot. It handles well and is useful in every situation, you know?"

The girl nodded thoughtfully, but then they fell into an awkward silence.

Three sighed inwardly, and decided to put all his pieces out on the table. "So, I think we did pretty well, as a unit."

The girl gave a nod. "Yeah. We pretty much carried the team, for all the good it did."

"So, maybe you and I could do some more turf wars together, maybe… Hang out a little…?" Three finished hopefully.

The girl smiled appreciatively, and reached out to caress Three's cheek. His heart pounded in his chest, and he wondered if maybe his luck had turned around. "That's sweet. But, I'm not really ready for a relationship right now."

Three would have thrown his head back and groaned if he were a total asshole. Instead, he gave an understanding nod. "Alright."

The girl put her charger away and left. Three let his head roll back and closed his eyes. _Another night alone, then._ His break-up had really hit him hard, despite how long ago it was. When he was still fighting Octarians, Three had somewhere to vent his frustration and grief, but now, with Octavio put away, he had nowhere to go. _Or, did he?_ With nothing better to do with himself, Three put his shooter away, picked up his bag, and casually made his way to the sewer pipe that led to Octo-Valley. Three glanced around, and, satisfied that no one was watching, he leapt into the pipe.

A few moments later, Three was spat out of the pipe, into the familiar clearing around the Cap'n's shack. Beside it sat Octavio's prison, reminiscent of a giant snowglobe. Three approached, and Octavio stared balefully at him, his resentment tangible even through his containment. Three shook his head at Octavio, and stepped over to the Cap'n's door. He pounded on the door, and heard several things clatter noisily to the floor. Three couldn't help but smile.

"Hang on, hang on, darn ya!" Came the Cap'n's voice from within. Three heard the clack of the lock, and the door opened. The Cap'n looked at Three, and his expression changed. "Oh, howdy, whippersnapper! What brings ya down here?" The Cap'n asked, opened the door and stepping aside so Three could enter.

Three shuffled into the Cap'n's shack. He saw a small stack of books on the table, and noticed that several more books were scattered on the floor beneath the table. He chuckled as he realized the Cap'n must have fallen asleep while reading, and he had woken him.

"Just wanted to drop by, and make sure everything's going well, Cap'n." Three replied with a shrug. "Things have been really slow lately, you know?" Though he tried, Three couldn't keep the melancholy from his voice.

Cap'n Cuttlefish's brow furrowed. "Well, I can't say there's anything that needs doin' 'round these parts." The Cap'n gave Three a slap on the shoulder. "Thanks to you, Agent Three!"

Three smiled at the Cap'n's praise, but still felt disheartened at the lack of things to do. "Right."

The Cap'n frowned, thoughtfully stroking his goatee. "I'll tell ya what, sonny." He said, jabbing a finger at Three. "I don't know if there's much to do right now, but if ya stop by tomorrow, I'm sure I can think of something for ya."

Three genuinely smiled. "Thanks, Cap'n." He said. He opened the door and stepped out. "I'll come in around noon, alright? See you tomorrow." Three closed the door, exhaled, and felt a little better. He set off for his apartment.

Meanwhile, Cap'n Cuttlefish had a phone call to make. He picked up his rather outdated landline, and punched in one of two numbers that was tacked to the wall above it.

"Whippersnappers like to do things together, don't they?" The Cap'n asked himself as he waited for the other end of the line to pick up.

* * *

Agent Three tossed his bag to the floor, and threw himself down on the sofa. His apartment was rather bare, being a single room, with the exception of the bathroom, the door of which was in the far corner. The sofa, which was old and beaten, was the closest thing to a bed Three owned. In front of the sofa was a low table, with three empty cups upturned, a bowl that, at some point, was filled with chips, and a book Three had told Callie he would read. He had gotten five pages in and realized that he didn't understand a single thing that was going on. And so the book sat, gathering dust. Across from the sofa sat a TV, a gift from his parents when he moved out of the house. Or, at least it was what he spent their gift-money on. On the wall opposite the door was a window, the only source of fresh air in the entire apartment. Beside the window was a small wooden desk with a chair beside it. A mess of papers covered the desk, most of which were notes and sketches of Octarians that no one else would ever see. Beside the desk was a small dresser, containing the few changes of clothing three had, including a few gift-pieces from Callie and Marie. In the corner opposite the bathroom was three's kitchen, if it could be called that. It was simply a small counter, with an oven that saw very little use, and a sink. Taking up most of the counter-space was an old microwave, where most of three's sustenance came from. Hanging above the sink was a single cabinet where Three kept the meager amount of dishware he had. Beside the counter sat a mini-fridge, stocked with soda and week-old pizza.

Despite the fact that he hadn't eaten all day, Three wasn't very hungry at all. He shifted his position,so he was properly lying down, and reached for the TV remote. He turned the TV on, and was greeted by Callie and Marie, who were going over the planned professional-level turf wars for the next week.

"-and then we've got the Silver Streakers going up against the Panic Attacks!" Callie bubbled excitedly, clapping her gloved hands together.

"I hope the _streakers_ you're talking about have to do with colors." Marie said, glancing at Callie from the corner of her eye.

"They'll be fighting for control of Arowana Mall! Marie, do you have any advice for the teams?"

Marie crossed her arms. "Uh...Don't get splatted?"

Callie laughed at Marie's quip, and the two both faced the camera. "That'll be all for today, folks!" Callie said, giving a wave. "And, always remember to…"

Both of the Squid Sisters struck their signature pose. " _Staaaaay fresh_!"

Three sighed, and sank further into the cushions of his sofa. "My life sucks…" He muttered, and dozed off not too long after.

* * *

Three groaned as he sat up. He fished his phone from his pocket, and groaned again when he saw that it was only four-thirty. Setting his phone on the table, he lay back down and tried to get back to sleep, heedless of the fact that the light was still on. Ten sleepless minutes later, Three stood and stretched noisily, before remembering that it was incredibly early. With a sigh, he walked to his fridge and opened it, cracking open a can of cola. Taking a tentative sip, Three sat down at his desk,and swept all his papers up into a somewhat neat pile, before finding his pencil and setting his drink down.

"Fuck my sleep-schedule…" Three groaned, sorting through the pile of papers. He eventually found what he was looking for; a half-finished sketch of Octavio.

Three put his head in his hands as he tried to remember Octavio's features. He sat like that for nearly five minutes on end, when he was suddenly struck by inspiration. He remembered it all, in the blink of an eye. He could perfectly recall the x-shaped scar on his tentacles, the exact details of his helmet, even the constant, resentful gaze of his. Three's pencil was a blur as he scribbled, dearly wanting to finish the sketch before he lost the details again. He had been meaning to finish this drawing for nearly a week, especially since he had finally captured Octavio. Fifteen minutes and one can of soda later, Three had a finished drawing, and held it up to view it in the light. He exhaled, and allowed himself a small smile, finally satisfied with the way something had turned out. He put it at the top of the pile and set his pencil down. His head followed not long after. _Just for a few minutes._

Three awoke with a jerk, satisfied that he had finally gotten some more sleep. He stood and stretched with a groan. Retrieving his phone, he checked the clock.

"Just a few minutes." Three mumbled. Then he double-checked, and slapped a palm against his forehead. "Shit." He breathed out. The clock, reading _10:30_ , stared back at him, and Three was suddenly struck by how angry at him his own phone seemed.

Three put his phone down and pulled his shirt off, stepping over to his dresser as he did so. He tossed the dirty shirt in the bathroom's general direction, and continued to strip, heedless of the fact that someone in the building across the street might be able to see him through his window. _If they wanted a show…_ Buck naked, Three stretched again before he even bothered to try and find a new set of clothes. He still had two clean pairs of boxers, and pulled one of them on. He sighed, however, when he realized that he only had one pair of shorts and a single shirt. He pulled the shorts on, but hesitated when he saw which of his shirts was left. It was one of the few articles of clothing that Callie and Marie had given him, though Three had a strange suspicion that Callie had picked out all the clothes. The shirt was a dark gray, with a black and blue star dominating the front. The Squid Sisters' logo was printed clearly in the very center of the star.

Though he hated the idea of going out in public wearing such a shirt, he had no other choice. All of his other clothes were, undoubtedly, far too filthy to wear. With a sigh of defeat, the threw the shirt on, and went to the fridge. His stomach growled at him, and all he had to answer was a few slices of cold pizza, which he couldn't be bothered to heat up. He scarfed down the leftovers, and checked his phone again. No time at all had passed, but with nothing else to do, Three began gathering his belongings to meet the Cap'n. Though he wasn't entirely sure why, Three packed his sketchbook with the rest of his gear. With all his things packed, Three shouldered his gear-bag and went to the door. Hanging on the doorknob was a pair of goggles, and Three couldn't help but smile as he took a moment to put the goggles on his head, but not over his eyes. he let out a satisfied breath, knowing very well that he hadn't donned these goggles in nearly two weeks.

And with that, he set out for the Cap'n's shack.

* * *

Three took a deep breath. The air in Octo-Valley was clean and crisp, and a light breeze rolled in. Three shivered, and realized that this was the best he had felt in a long time. Three had made several unnecessary stops on the way, and he was still early. His eyes flicked over to Octavio, who still sulked in his prison. The leader of the Octarians stared out longingly at the variety of kettles that led deeper into Octo-Valley. Three was struck by the image, and he quietly set his bag down, and dug out his sketchbook. Sitting on the ground, he set to drawing the sight, which stirred the strangest emotion in him; sympathy, for the same creature who had so remorselessly tried to kill him.

Nearly half an hour passed before Three was satisfied with the drawing. He spent a moment, glancing between the two, trying to make sure he had all the details just right. And then he felt a puff of breath on the back of his neck.

"Pretty drawing." Came a familiar voice.

Three leapt to his feet, his heart pounding in his ears. "Shit, Callie! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Callie grinned at Three and crossed her arms beneath her breasts, making it that much harder for Three to _not_ stare at her cleavage. "You're so easy to sneak up on, though, _Three_." Her grin only grew as Three squirmed. She knew _just_ how to tease him.

Three huffed, and closed his sketchbook. Marie appeared beside Callie, a paper bag filled with food tucked beneath an arm, and Three arched an eyebrow at them. "What're you two doing here, anyway?"

Callie looked back at Three curiously. "I could ask you the same, you know. Gramps called us and asked us to bring him some groceries today. At noon. He was _really_ specific about it being at noon." She smiled deviously at Three. "Could that have anything to do with you, I wonder?"

Marie passed them with a soft sigh. "You can harass him if you want, but I'm going to give these to grandpa." She said, indicating the bag full of groceries for emphasis.

Callie smirked at Three, but stepped away and followed after Marie. She gave him a final, taunting wink and then turned away, following Marie into the Cap'n's shack. Three sighed, and moved to follow the both of them in.

He entered the Cap'n's shack. Three immediately bumped into the Cap'n, nearly knocking him over. The withered old squid flailed for a moment, before his hand closed around Three's wrist.

The Cap'n righted himself quickly, and laughed the near-fall off. "There ya are, sonny!" The Cap'n said, giving Three a slap on the arm. "I was wonderin' when ya'd get here!" Hobbling over to the table, the Cap'n picked up a packet of papers, and handed them to Three. "I've found something for you ta do."

Three quickly thumbed through the packet. It was full of different locations in Octo-Valley, most of which were high vantage points Three had noted, but never actually visited. "What's my mission, Cap'n?"

"Scouting." the Cap'n replied. "I want ya ta use the listed vantage points, and make note of any enemy movements. Just because the Octarians are headless doesn't mean they'll be idle."

Three nodded dutifully, and set his gear-bag on the table. "Aye, aye, Cap'n." He said, removing his shooter and its tank from the bag. He threw the tank on, and looked to the Cap'n questioningly. "Should I suit up?"

Cap'n Cuttlefish waved the question off. "No need, sonny! This is about intel, not assault. Keep it quiet."

"Aye, aye." Three said, snapping off a salute before rushing out the door.

Callie watched him go out the door. "Wow. He _really is_ getting antsy, gramps."

"What do you expect?" Marie replied, putting away the groceries. "He's been fighting a war for nearly two months, and suddenly, he's got to go back to being normal. It's like if we suddenly weren't famous anymore."

"Ouch." Callie waited a moment, before laughing and shrugging. "But we're _always_ gonna be famous, so at least we'll never get like that."

Cap'n Cuttlefish waved to get Callie's attention, and motioned towards the door. "So, ya see what I mean? Good, good! Then you two can help him!"

Callie was immediately taken aback by the suggestion. "What?"

"Ya heard me, Callie." The Cap'n said, shaking his cane at her for emphasis. "I don't know what you whippersnappers do for fun nowadays, and I can't keep givin' him busywork. There's only so much scouting he can do before he'll know the valley like the back of his hand, and then we'll have a real problem."

Callie sighed, knowing full well that her grandfather was right. _He was always right._ "Yeah, I see your point, gramps. I guess we could help him relax."

"Great, great!" Cap'n Cuttlefish hobbled past Callie and lowered himself down onto his old sofa. He leaned his cane against the arm, and Callie realized how tired her grandfather looked. "You two'll do great..." And then his head lolled back, and he snored loudly.

Callie smiled softly at her now-sleeping grandfather. "C'mon, Marie. Let's leave gramps to sleep. We've got plans to make."

Marie groaned as she closed Cuttlefish's refrigerator and looked at Callie. "Ugh. Can't you do it yourself? Tonight was supposed to be a relaxation night."

"You wish." Callie replied. "'Member that favor you owe me? I'm calling it in."

Marie groaned once again. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

* * *

Three exhaled as the door to his apartment closed behind him. He locked it, and let his bag drop to the floor. He strode over to his dresser, and fished out his phone-dock from the bottom drawer, and hooked it up. With that out of the way, he went into the bathroom and began to strip. He had _definitely_ earned a shower. And, after looking down the shirt of a particularly well-endowed octoling, there was a heat in Three's groin that sorely required attention. He stepped into the shower, rinsed himself off, and one of his hands drifted to his member, which ached for release. It throbbed in his grasp, and he gave a few experimental pumps, before settling into a nice rhythm.

And then his phone rang. Three groaned, but was taken aback when he realized that it was Callie's ringtone. He poked his head out from the shower curtain.

"Go to voicemail!" He urged, and not long after, the ringing stopped.

A minute later, his phone produced a loud beep. " _New voicemail._ "

Curiosity and horniness fought for control as Three contemplated checking the voicemail or finishing himself off.

Curiosity won out, and Three poked his head out again. "Play new voicemail!"

It took his phone a moment to register the command, and it beeped as the voicemail began. "Hey, Lu-" There was a long pause. "Hehe, whoops. _Agent Three_. It's Callie. Gramps said you were getting restless, and Marie and I thought it'd be nice if we all hung out. So, swing by the studio as soon as you get this message. We'll have a _great_ time."

Three couldn't help but hum to himself as he thought about this. And then, he thought of the view Callie had given him earlier that day. Normally, Three wasn't the sort to keep two beautiful women waiting, but there were _far more pressing matters_ that needed tending to.

* * *

Three looked up at the Squid Sisters' studio as he approached. All of the exterior lights were off, save for the single lamp above the door. The plaza, despite how late it was, was still full of bodies. Judging by the activity going on, Three guessed that most of the inklings present were on romantic rendezvous, taking advantage of the romantic atmosphere of the plaza at night. Three scoffed and shook his head at them, simultaneously feeling disgusted and jealous.

Three stepped up to the door, and thumbed the intercom button. "Hey, uh… It's me."

"Hiya, Three!" Came Callie's voice, filtered through the intercom. "Come on in; we're waiting in the parlor."

The door clicked, and Three opened it and walked in. For the umpteenth time since leaving his apartment, he gave the outside of both thighs a pat, ensuring that both his phone and wallet - the only things he bothered to bring with him, beside himself - were still there. The lights, which were off, flickered on as Three entered, and he took a moment to look around the area. The immediate area resembled the entrance to an office building, with a large desk and several filing cabinets dominating the room. At the very rear of the room was a sturdy-looking door, with " _Stairs_ " on a sign above it. Seeing nowhere else to go, three immediately moved towards it, and opened it with a tug. The entire stairwell was made of concrete, with one flight leading up, and another leading down. Painted on the right side of the wall, following the stairs up, was a fuchsia line, with " _Studio_ " written above in, in rather plain lettering.

The stairs leading down were unmarked, and Three could vaguely hear music coming from the door at the bottom. With nothing better to go on, he descended, and pressed his ear to the door. He could _definitely_ hear music. Three took a breath, and opened the door. Behind the door as a very fashionable, very comfortably decorated room. There was a massive amount of purple and black, though Three couldn't say the color scheme was unattractive. The room was dominated by a large black, crescent-shaped couch, on which two very pretty young women sat. The carpet was purple, with several black polka dots, and an impressively large flat-screen TV hanging on the wall opposite from the couch. There were a variety of other decorations and knickknacks scattered around the room, but Three found himself too entranced by the two lovely ladies reclining on the center-piece of the room to take note of them.

"Took him long enough…" Marie said with a huff, crossing her arms.

"You kept us waiting." Callie said with a pout. "I _hate_ waiting."

Three didn't know why he was so focused on the two of them. He sniffed, and felt the tension flow from his body. There was _definitely_ some kind of spray or incense in the air. Three took another, much deeper breath, and was more accepting of the situation he was in.

"Uh… Sorry." Three said eventually, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I had a few things to take care of before I came over."

"Oh?" Callie said, standing slowly and sauntering over to Three. " _Like what_?"

Three swallowed a lump in his throat as Callie leaned uncomfortably close to him. "N-none of your business." He replied, leaning away from her. _She smelled like strawberries_.

"Yeah?" Callie asked, circling around Three. Her hot breath on the back of his neck made him shiver. "C'mon, sit down. It's _soooo_ comfy." One of her hands brushed Three's side, and she pushed him towards the couch. When he was close enough, she gave him a firm shove, and he fell back. "See?"

Three opened his mouth, but found he had nothing to say. Callie remained standing, one hand on her hip, the other idly playing across the bare skin of her neck.

"How long has it been since your break-up..?" Callie asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.

Three felt heat rise in his cheeks. "Wh-what? I don't know! I-I barely even think about it!"

Callie cocked an eyebrow at Three. " _Bullshit_."

Three sighed, and looked away from Callie. "It's been, like, a month, or something…" From the corner of his eye, Three could see Callie's gaze boring into him. _She was expecting more._ She knew him _so_ well. "And a week… And two days, and…" Three paused for a moment to check the time. "Around four hours."

" _Poor baby_." Callie cooed, lightly setting herself down beside Three. She sidled agonizingly close, threw an arm around Three's shoulder, and pressed herself against him. "You've been all alone for a month? No one to love, all _pent up_ …" Her index finger traced the exposed skin at Three's collar, sending shivers down his spine.

Three's mouth, which was very dry, hung open. "Wh-wha…?" Was all he could manage after several seconds of not thinking.

Callie giggled girlishly. "Oh, you're _so_ cute when you're stupid." One of her longer tentacles slithered up Three's chest and gently cupped his chin. "And you're pretty cute a lot of the time."

"Thanks, I-I think..?"

Callie pressed herself harder against Three's side, and her breasts squished against his arm. "Tell me, Agent… Have you been feeling… _Down_ , lately?"

Three had to take a breath to steady himself. Callie was absolutely _oozing_ eroticism right now, and Three was becoming intoxicated by everything about her; her proximity, her teasing touch, the gentle tone of her voice… A familiar warmth was spreading to Three's groin, and he knew wouldn't be able to control it for long.

"I-I mean, I've been a bit stir-crazy lately, but it's not that big of a deal." Three replied eventually, trying his best to keep his voice even. "I just need to… Get back into the groove of things…"

Callie's smile only grew, and her head moved even closer to Three's. Three had to resist the urge to kiss her on the spot. "You're such a bad liar…" she said quietly. Their lips almost met; Three could practically _taste_ her. And then she pulled away, smirking all the while. She stood, and motioned for Marie to follow. "Don't you worry about a thing, Three." Callie cooed. "We're going to take _good_ care of you…"

Marie stood with Callie, flattening an unseen crease in her dress. "Let's get this over with." She said sourly.

"Wh-wha-? What are you - what do you-?" Three babbled, trying to stand.

Callie stopped Three and pushed him back onto the couch, leaning down and pressing her forehead to his. " _You talk too much_." She said, and silenced him with a soft kiss on the lips. One of her tentacles caressed the inside of his thigh, and she pulled away, leaving a thin, almost invisible trail of saliva between them. "Now, _you_ , sit there and enjoy."

Three was at full-mast now, and he could do little but nod absently and watch as Callie stepped away from him, a sensuous sway in her hips. Callie stopped halfway between the couch and the wall, and kept her back to Three. She bent slightly, reaching one of her gloved hands down to her knee. Her fingers slid up slowly up her thigh, and continued up her side, until her hand reached the swell of her breasts. Callie stopped, then, and looked back over her shoulder at Three. Her lips were parted slightly, and a finger traced its way up her neck and to her chin.

Up until this point, Three hadn't paid the slightest bit of attention to Marie. And then, he noticed that she and Callie were moving almost entirely in sync. They both pulled their gloves off slowly, and let them fall to the floor. Their shoes came off next, one at a time, slid off as their long legs were up in the air. The tights they wore only served to put emphasis on the shape and tone of their lovely legs. Three found himself moving further and further into a trance as he watched their slow, sure movements.

They twirled around each other and switched places. They stood back to back, moving almost perfectly in time with the quiet music playing in a display of rhythm that was both impressive and erotically charged. The way they moved reminded Three of something, and it clicked in his head. This was a routine they regularly performed at their concerts - or, at least, it was a _variation_ of the routine. Three had a creeping suspicion that he was the only one to see this version of it, and that thought sent another shiver up his spine. He exhaled, almost having to remind himself that he needed to breathe.

Callie and Marie twirled again, winding up in their first positions. The music suddenly slowed, and so too did the Squid Sisters' movements. Listening closely, Three could recognize this song, and more than that, he could recognize this _particular_ part of the song as Callie's solo. Suddenly, Marie stepped away, her hands on her hips, and Callie stepped forward. Callie hooked two fingers under the top of her shirt and tugged lightly, giving an excited wiggle of her hips. The fabric of her shirt slid downward excruciatingly slowly, and Callie's breasts eventually spilled out. Three found himself momentarily disappointed when he saw that they were still covered by the latex of her tights, but was satisfied by the way Callie looked, her breasts held tightly against her body and her shirt hanging limply around her waist. The dance stopped as Callie took a moment to slide her one-piece outfit down her hips. Getting a glimpse of Callie's body, covered only by her form-hugging tights, made Three's mouth water. And then her discarded article of clothing landed neatly on Three's head, obscuring his vision and filling his nostrils with Callie's scent.

Three pulled the clothing from his head and tossed it aside. And then Callie was upon him. She gave him a firm push, pressing him deeper into the cushions of the couch, and straddled him to the point where their hips met. There was nothing between them but latex and cloth, and Three had no doubt that Callie was aware of the growing bulge in his shorts, because he could certainly feel himself pressing into her. This seemed only to spur her own, however, and she leaned forward, pressing her chest to Three's. Their heads were impossibly close, and once more, Three could almost taste Callie on his lips.

"So, uh… I guess the show's over..?" Three said nervously, unsure of what else to do.

Callie's smiled deviously. "Oh, my, no. The show's _only getting started_ , Agent." She dragged a finger up Three's chest and over his neck, eventually stopping just below his lip. "You know, you _can_ touch, if you want…"

That was all Three needed to hear. He lunged forward, putting one hand on Callie's shoulder to steady the both of them, and pressed his lips to Callie's. She gave a short, cute squeal of surprise, but after a moment, surrendered to the kiss. Three's free hand wandered, sliding from Callie's hip to her chest, where he gently cupped one of her breasts. She moaned into Three's mouth, and somewhat reluctantly, he pulled away, panting, but incredibly satisfied. Callie looked at him, her cheeks flushed, and smiled coquettishly.

"Be careful, won't you?" She asked breathily. "They're _sooooo_ sensitive…"

That sounded like an invitation if he had ever heard one, so, Three gave Callie's breast a firm squeeze, and she squirmed in his grasp. Wanting to go one step further, Three hooked a finger beneath the latex covering Callie's breasts, and when he glanced at her face for confirmation, she bit her lip and gave a nod. Three gave a sharp tug, and at last, Callie's breasts spilled free of all confines. They were even larger than Three had imagined, and he couldn't resist taking one of her nipples into his mouth. Callie gave a satisfied groan, and one of her hands shifted to the back of his head, stroking his tentacles and pressing him further into her chest. Getting nothing but eager assent from Callie, Three took it a step further, gently nibbling on her stiff nipple. Three could have sat like this all day, but eventually, Callie gave a sharp tug on his tentacles, pulling him away.

"O-okay…" Callie said, panting. She wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. "I-I think it's time I repay the favor..."

Three looked at Callie, utterly uncomprehending for a moment. "What..?"

Callie smiled deviously, and pressed her finger against Three's lips. One of her tentacles snaked between the two of them and caressed Three's groin. Comprehension dawned on Three, and he could do little but nod in assent as Callie slowly slid down his body, her tentacle fondling him all the while. At length, Callie fell to her knees between Three's legs. She gave him a wink, and slipped her fingers beneath his shorts, tugging them down with a slowness that drove Three mad. Eventually, his shorts were around his ankles, and Callie's hand rested lightly on bulge that jutted out from Three's boxers. Callie locked eyes with Three, and, with a sharp tug on his boxers, she freed the beast.

And suddenly, Marie appeared before Three. She was completely naked, stripped of her dressed and her tights. Judging by the flush to her skin, Three guessed that watching all that had her as pent up as him. She was standing, and Three's head was level with her groin.

"Callie can be so greedy sometimes…" Marie said softly, placing one hand on the back of Three's head.

Three needed no encouragement. Marie pressed her hips forward, and she was rewarded with a long lick from Three. She groaned, and pressed Three further into her most intimate parts. He lapped at her folds, savoring her taste and the way she groaned every time his tongue passed over her love-button. After a few moments, one of Three's hands went to Marie's waist to steady her. The other joined his chin between her legs. Three's index and middle fingers gently probed Marie's lower lips, and she couldn't bite back a moan as they did so. She bucked her hips into Three's face, and the flat of his tongue crossed her button again. Three found himself trapped between the Squid Sisters, and absolutely delighted by that fact.

Electric pleasure sparked through Three as he felt Callie's tongue trail along the underside of his member. Were his mouth not occupied, he would have moaned. Instead, he hummed delightedly into Marie's crotch, and she moaned for him. The thought that Callie made him moan, and he made Marie moan, like some kind of delivery-system, amused Three to no end. Callie's tongue swirled around Three's crown, and after a moment, he felt warm wetness envelop his head. And then there was the most delightful kind of pressure. This time, Three couldn't help but break his head away from Marie's hot slit and gasp aloud. Marie frowned at him, and pushed him back to his original place. Three would have grinned if he could have. He made his amusement known by slipping a finger inside Marie and taking her clit into his mouth.

Marie's entire body seized up as she climaxed. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth as she gave a sweet cry of ecstasy, and her hips bucked madly against Three's head. Three took the abuse, still enjoying his position despite the way his face was being mashed into Marie's pelvis. As Marie recovered from her orgasm with a blissful smile, Three could feel Callie's tender ministrations continue. She had moved on from his head, and was now lavishing the entirety of his length with her tongue. Three groaned into Marie's pelvis, lifting his hips as best he could to meet Callie's attention. Suddenly, Callie's tongue disappeared from his member, and Three opened his mouth to voice a protest. Protest died on his lips, replaced by a wanton moan as Callie took his entire length into her mouth in a single motion. Pressure built in Three's groin, and he knew there was nothing he could do to fight what was coming. _Him_.

Three threw his head back, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. "C-Callie… Gonna… Gonna... "

Three heard a wet _pop_ as Callie released his member. "Go on." She cooed, stroking him with one hand. The other slowly rubbed the inside of his thigh, spurring him on.

Three's breathing went ragged as his pleasure boiled over. His orgasm hit him like a freight-train, and his entire mind went blank. Cum erupted from Three's member, spraying several inches into the air before raining down upon his lower half. All the while, Callie continued to stroke, her slender fingers not stopping for even a moment. Three's hips jerked in-time with Callie's pumps and his own bursts, and eventually, the wave crashed, and Three sank further into the cushions of the couch, gasping for breath and suddenly feeling incredibly weak in the knees.

"W-wow…" Was all Three could manage.

"I'll say." Callie replied. "You made a _huge_ mess…"

Marie stepped down from the couch, shivering as she did so. With her naked body no longer blocking Three's vision, he could see Callie, kneeling between his legs, an amused look on her face. Callie was right, of course; Three's lower half was painted with alabaster. His shorts, and even the very bottom of his shirt, were covered in splotches of white. After a moment, Callie lifted her hand, pressing her fingers together and pulling them apart. Pearly strings dangled between her fingers, and she smirked at Three.

"Look what you did." Callie said.

"Yeah…" Three responded with a shuddering breath. "Oh, man, my shorts…"

"Your shorts should be the least of your worries." Callie breathed. Her eyes were half-lidded, and she rose, giving a short shake of her chest to ensure she had Three's attention. "You've got two _very needy_ girls on your hands… I hope you have a solution…"

Three managed to give a weak laugh. "I think I have a thing or two to fill your needs…"

Callie grinned at him. "Good. Now, _get naked_." She demanded as she began peeling herself out of her tights.

With such a beautiful woman demanding that he strip, Three had little choice. He hastily undressed, throwing all his clothes in a heap on the floor. He was particularly mindful while removing his boxers, struck by a desire to not get his own seed on his hands. Three felt hands on his shoulder, and smiled, expecting Callie to do or say something sexy. Instead, he was wheeled around and shoved back. As he fell, he saw Marie, a displeased look on her face.

"Lay down," Marie said _after_ she pushed Three. "Just let it happen…"

"Why should you go first?" Callie asked with a huff.

"He started me off," Marie replied, not even looking at Callie. "He's gotta finish me."

Three propped himself up on his elbows as the two bickered. Marie straddled his hips, barely paying attention to Three as she lined herself up. Three felt the tip of his half-erect member brush against Marie's slits, and it sent a shiver through his body. He was still _incredibly_ sensitive from coming down from his last climax. Marie, however, wasn't amused by Three's lack of stiffness. She made a disappointed sound and pressed herself against Three's groin, wringing all the pleasure she could from his current state.

"He's not _hard_ ," Marie whined, pumping her hips back and forth, trying desperately to stimulate herself and Three.

"Maybe this'll help…" Callie said, sauntering to Three's upper half and swinging a leg over his shoulders. With her knees to either side of Three's head, Callie wiggled her hips enticingly. "Well? I hope you've got room for seconds…"

"I could certainly go for another snack.." Three replied, staring up at Callie's most intimate parts.

Callie gave another wiggle, lowering herself further onto Three's face. "Then dig in!" She said in a singsong voice.

That was an offer Three found impossible to decline. He breathed deeply of Callie's scent, and found himself utterly intoxicated by it. Even a few inches away, Three could practically _feel_ the simmering heat of her pent up frustrations. Done stalling, he extended his neck and gave Callie's slit a tentative lick, earning an appreciative groan from her. Three took a moment to savor her taste, finding himself thinking of the oddest comparison. _Callie's a lot sweeter. Marie's really tangy._ Pushing the thought from his mind, Three put his arms around Callie's thighs, pulling her even closer to his head as he lapped gently at her folds. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Three buried his face in between Callie's legs, thrusting his tongue as deep into her as he could.

Callie's thighs squeezed Three's head so hard he thought she was going to break him, but he carried on with the task at hand, pressing further and further into Callie's depths. Her entire body shuddered, and Three relented at last, withdrawing his tongue as a bit of Callie's juices dripped onto his chin.

 _Callie's definitely doing a number on me. In the best way._ Three exhaled, puffing hot air over Callie's sensitive nethers, and he felt her shiver. Meanwhile, at Three's southern pole, he was steadily rising to full-mast, to Marie's delight. From beneath Callie, Three could _just_ see Marie shift her hips, rising up to meet his tip. He brushed against her entrance, and barely suppressed a moan as he and Marie finally joined. Marie, on the other hand, moaned wantonly, foregoing any sense of decency. She remained perfectly still for a moment, before shifting again, dragging nearly all of Three's length out of her. She stopped, just short of Three's tip, and hesitated for the slightest moment before falling once more, taking just a little more of Three than the last time. This pattern repeated, with Marie rising and falling just slightly deeper than before. The slowness of her movements drove Three mad, but he vented his frustrations on Callie, lavishing her love-button with his tongue.

At last, Marie and Three's crotches met. Three would have shouted for joy if he could have, but instead, he spread the love, stretching his arms to give Callie's butt a firm squeeze, and thrusting his tongue as deep into her as he could. And then they settled in a rhythm of sorts. Every time Marie hilted herself on Three, Three passed the motion to Callie, burying his chin in her crotch. They carried on like this for the longest time, until Marie's pace increased. She moved so feverishly that Three could no longer match her. Her down-strokes came so quickly and with such force that Three feared his groin would be bruised. Not long after, another fear bubbled up within Three, along with a familiar feeling in his loins. At the rate Marie was going, he wouldn't last much longer.

Three desperately fought against the heat in his crotch. As much as it pained him, he tried to forget that he currently had the attentions of two _very_ attractive young ladies. He forced his mind to wander. A brief memory came to mind, one about one of Three's many adventures in Octo-Valley. A time when a particularly devious octoling had set a trap, luring Three towards a hidden mine. The octoling, one who held a lengthy grudge, had proceeded to drop-kick Three directly onto the waiting mine, splatting him and leaving him with a nasty migraine. Remembering the explanation he had given the Cap'n, Three would have laughed if he could have. _I think I blew up._

Three realized that he wasn't aware of how much time had passed. His attention was suddenly drawn to Marie, who bounced furiously in his lap, all forms of coordination gone. Both of her hands clenched the back of the couch to keep herself upright, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She convulsed suddenly, throwing her full weight into Three one last time. Throwing her head back, Marie let out a cry as her entire body was wracked with shudders. Feeling a squeeze on his head, Three reluctantly looked away from Marie and returned to tending to Callie. Feeling Marie squirm, impaled on his member, as she rode out her orgasm, gave Three a devious idea, and he threw his hips upward, bouncing Marie and drawing another lurid moan from her lips. At length, Marie's orgasm faded, and her entire body sagged.

Marie opened her mouth, and Three thought she was finally going to give him some kind of praise. Then Callie gave Marie a firm shove, sending her toppling backwards. Marie didn't fight at all, landing on her back with an _oomph_ , shifting slightly to set her head on an armrest. Callie clambered over Three and loomed over Marie, resting on all fours. She looked at Three from over her shoulder and gave her rump an enticing shake.

"My turn."

Three needed no encouragement, sitting up and sliding into position behind Callie. As much as he wanted to dive straight into the main course, there were two things preventing him from doing so; how close he was to blowing for the second time, and how absolutely _divine_ Callie's butt was. He couldn't resist reaching out and giving both of her cheeks a firm squeeze, earning a soft coo from the pop-star.

"Enjoying yourself?" Callie asked, pressing herself back into Three's hands.

"You could say that…" Three replied absently. He drew his hand up, and gave Callie a little spank.

She squealed, and smirked back at Three. "Ooh, _naughty_." Three grinned, and gave her another one. And another. After the third, however, she frowned and pressed herself hard against Three's groin. " _Come onnnnnn…_ " She whined.

Three chuckle, and, deciding he was done with the foreplay, shifted his hands from Callie's buttocks to her hips. He exhaled, gave her a gentle squeeze, and shifted his hips, prodding at her entrance with his tip. Three pressed forward, putting nearly all of his weight on Callie. She sank into the couch cushions while Three pushed into her depths. The thrust was slow and deliberate, and eventually, Three's groin pressed against Callie's cheeks as he bottomed out. He stopped there, and savored the feeling of being balls-deep in one of Inkopolis' most famous residents. After taking a moment, Three slowly extracted himself from Callie, until only his tip remained in. And then he pushed back in, with an excruciating slowness that took all of Three's willpower.

"You know…" Three said from behind gritted teeth. "Since I'm where I am, I feel like I can say something…"

"I probably won't listen…"

Three groaned as he pressed against Callie's rear once more. "I've wanted to do this for a while…"

"Duh." Callie replied after a short gasp. "We're, like, _super hot_."

Three grinned, and quickly hilted himself, leaving Callie with no clever comebacks. "I meant… _you_ …"

Three didn't want Callie to get another word in, and so, he began thrusting in earnest. All it took was a light shove, and Callie toppled forward, pressed up against the half-conscious form of Marie as Three savored the view. Inkopolis' most popular pop-duo, naked and cheek-to-cheek, _just for him._ That thought sent a jolt of electricity to his heart, and he drove himself into Callie's depths with renewed vigor. Leaning forward, Three put one hand between Callie's shoulders, and the other on the back of the couch. His breathing went ragged as he reached his final stretch, his new angle of penetration proving far more effective than the last. A now-familiar pressure built in his loins. Sensing the end, Three drove himself home as many times as he could muster, before jerking his hips back, withdrawing fully from Callie's slit.

At the same time, his hands moved. One dipped down between Callie's legs, probing her simmering passageway, seeking out her special spot. With his other hand, Three stroked himself off, working feverishly to get both Callie and himself off. Three grinned as he found Callie's g-spot, and he focused nearly all of his attentions on it. Lust-fueled instinct and mechanical memory guided his other hand. Callie moaned wantonly, apparently having the strength or will to do nothing else. Her walls squeezed down on the intruding fingers, and judging from the way her voice reached new heights, she was _close_. _So was Three_.

Three felt himself go over the edge. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he jerked himself off at a feverish pace as he rode out his climax. His hips jerked in time with each jet of cum that sprayed from his tip, painting Callie's rear white. Thanks to Three's ministrations, Callie wasn't far behind, as she let out a sweet cry and convulsed, her inner walls clamping down on Three's fingers like a vice. Even when Three's flow stopped, Callie's continued, her juices running down Three's hand like a waterfall. She carried on for nearly another minute until she came down from her orgasmic high, twitching and panting. Three eventually withdrew his fingers, giving his middle finger a long lick just to get a lingering taste of Callie.

Satisfied, Three let himself fall back onto the cushions behind him. "That was…. _Wow_."

"Mhmmm…." Callie moaned, still laying atop Marie.

"Callie?"

"Yeah?"

" _I fuckin' love you_."

"I know…" Callie replied groggily. "You're not half bad yourself, Lucky..."

Three smiled as he realized that Callie had called him _Lucky_. _She had finally used his real name._ Not a moment later, Three heard soft breathing. Sitting up with a groan, Three peered at the two pop-stars, and had to suppress a laugh when he saw that they were both asleep, naked and cheek-to-cheek. Three let himself fall back again, putting his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. _We all deserve a nap…_


	2. The Long Walk

_Holy shit, my head hurts._ _Why is my mouth so dry? Fuck, it's hot…_

Lucky's eyes felt like they were tied down with lead weights. It took all the effort in the world to pry them open, and with a groan, Lucky took in his surroundings. He was in the back room of the Squid Sisters' studio…

"Oh, shit." Lucky croaked, rubbing his face. Memories of last night rushed into his head unbidden.

Laying on the couch, covered with an absurdly thick blanket, Lucky realized why he was so hot. Tossing the blanket off and twisting to put his feet on the floor, he let out a deep breath. Looking around, Lucky realized his clothes were gone. I _left them right there…_ He cursed again, and wondered if Callie or Marie had taken them to clean. That would have been awfully thoughtful, and Lucky immediately discarded the idea.

Lucky coughed suddenly, and it felt like he was hacking up gravel. Looking around again, Lucky noticed a small mini-fridge, matte black, hidden away in one of the corners. Lucky stood, ignoring the fact that he was naked, and strode to the fridge. He opened it, and almost laughed when he saw that it was filled with nothing but expensive water and sodas. Taking a bottle of fancy mineral water, Lucky cracked it open and downed half the bottle in a few gulps. Sure, Callie and Marie might be pissed at him for digging into their personal stash, but a man has to hydrate.

"Speaking of…" Lucky muttered as he wiped water away from his chin.

Feeling much better, he considered walking out and finding where his two lovely companions went off to. _But_ , he _was_ still naked, and he had no idea what time it was. If he was walking out into a room full of the Squid Sisters' employees, he didn't want to show them _everything_. Lucky was a fan of _tasteful_ nudity, and showing a bunch of strangers his junk sure wasn't tasteful.

Glancing at the blanket on the couch, Lucky shrugged and threw it around his shoulders, carefully making sure it hid all of his equipment. Satisfied that his dignity - _ha!_ \- was intact, he shuffled to the door and slowly opened it, peeking through the crack in the doorway. The stairwell was empty, and Lucky went to the next door and cracked it.

Lucky's eyes narrowed at the sight of Callie and Marie, both fully clothed, talking about something Lucky couldn't make out. They were alone, and the studio was still closed, evidently. Huffing, Lucky threw the door open and shuffled out, less concerned with hiding his shame and more concerned about getting his shit back.

"Hey." Lucky called as he approached. "Where's all my stuff?"

"Oh, shit." Callie breathed. Her mouth was covered, and Lucky wondered if he was supposed to hear that. "Didn't think you'd be up so soon. You were _out_."

"That's cool," Lucky replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Where's my shit?"

"Dirty." Marie said, her arms crossed and her expression sour.

"What about my phone? My wallet?"

Callie huffed, and took the objects in question from her pockets. "Well, _duh_ , we have those. What do we look like, idiots?"

 _A couple of sneaky, tricky sluts, more like._ But Lucky thought this was a little too mean-spirited, and kept it to himself. "Look, I just want to take my stuff and go home. I need a shower or three, and we all know you don't want me showering here."

Callie put on a hurt look, her hands bunching up over her heart. "You mean, you don't want to spend time with the fabulous Squid Sisters?"

Lucky almost felt bad for a split second, but then realized that she was a master manipulator. "If you wanted to cuddle, we'd all still be naked on the couch."

Marie's eyes rolled. "All your clothes are in the wash." She said dismissively. "They're gonna be in there for a while, so you're just-"

"No, Marie, you know what?" Callie interjected, arms crossed and her expression matching. "If _Agent Three_ wants to go right now, he should."

Both Lucky and Marie gave her a strange look. Callie narrowed her eyes and marched up to Lucky, sweeping the blanket off his shoulders. He was taken aback by Callie's forwardness, and his mind immediately went to the events of last night. Those thoughts were dispelled as Callie shoved his phone and wallet into his hands, circled around him, and began manhandling him towards the door.

"Hey!" Lucky barked, putting up a token resistance. "The fuck?"

"You wanted to leave, right?" Callie whispered huskily.

Lucky sputtered, searching for an answer that would satisfy Callie. "Look, I just want to-"

" _Leave!_ I get it, you don't have to keep repeating yourself." She stopped at the door and stepped to Lucky's side. "Please, don't let us keep you, Three! We'll send you your shorts, but I gave you that shirt, didn't I? I think I want that back." With a smirk straight from hell, Callie unbolted the metal door, threw it open, and pushed Lucky out.

"Callie, seriously, I'm sorry for being a dick, but this isn't-"

The popstar gave Lucky a wink, blew him a kiss, and slammed the door. Through the metal, he could barely hear her call out "Bye-bye, Three! See you at the next briefing!"

Lucky felt himself start to panic. The sun was up, and the streets were likely filling up. It was a quick bus ride to his apartment complex, but a bit of a long walk. There was absolutely no chance of getting out of this situation without being seen, unless Callie changed her mind and opened up.

But things weren't all bad. Or not as awful as Lucky had initially thought. Lucky hadn't noticed during all the commotion, but Callie hadn't pushed him to the front entrance. Instead, he was in the alley beside the studio. _Okay, Callie isn't as much of a bitch as I first thought._ It seemed that nobody had noticed Lucky yet, and shielding his bare groin from a sudden, chilly breeze, he huddled beside a nearby dumpster. Going out into the plaza was a sure fire way to get himself arrested, and he didn't think the cops would believe that the Squid Sisters had stolen his clothes, nor would Callie or Marie bail him out.

There was a park nearby, full of foliage. It had plenty of cover, and in the morning, probably far less bodies in it than the Plaza. It was a little bit out of the way, but Lucky wasn't too keen on running through the streets in his current state. Taking the long way around was the only real option.

With his mind made up, Lucky went deeper into the alley, which eventually fed out into one of the the smaller back streets of the plaza. Quickly checking to make sure nobody was focused on him, he broke from the alley and made for the dead end of the street. Halfway to the fence, Lucky heard a long, low whistle, and then a chorus of bewildered voices. He didn't stop running, but did spare a glance over his shoulder.

"Looking good!"

"Little cold out for that, isn't it?"

"Hey, nice dick!"

Feeling himself blush, Lucky spared just a second to show the gawking group his favorite finger. "Fuck you!"

A raucous outburst followed, but Lucky tuned it out as he hauled himself up and over the fence. Away from the public eye, he allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. Nobody was supposed to be outside the walls of the plaza, near the roads and railroad tracks, and it was a straight shot to Splatterson Memorial Park. Even considering the group that had seen him, things were going pretty well.

Shivering as he caught a breeze, Lucky set off towards the park at a brisk jog. If things continued to go well, the park would be empty, and he could slip through it without a hitch. Navigating the cramped streets of the suburbs and getting to his apartment was going to be a bit tricky, but at least three strangers had already seen his junk today. One or two more probably wouldn't kill him.

The roads were fairly busy, but the concrete barriers on the sides kept Lucky's shame well-hidden. Trains trundled alongside the cars, carrying cargo and passengers all throughout the city. The roads and the tracks split off not far from where Lucky left the plaza, and he followed the railway. It took him straight past the park, and Lucky hopped another fence and found himself crouched behind a bush as tall as he was. Cursing the day's events, he shoved through the branches and peered through the other side. To his chagrin, there were more than a few handfuls of inklings and jellyfish roaming around. Maybe there was some kind of event going on, or maybe some of those poor saps thought it was just a good day to go out, but well over a dozen people floated about.

Grumbling, Lucky began the irritating, scratchy process of skirting around the park, through the bushes, ignoring pokes and stabs from the overgrown foliage. _Somebody needs to trim these damn things,_ he thought, absolutely certain that he was going to be itchy for the rest of the day. It wasn't difficult, but it took time, and Lucky only grew more upset at the situation as more people arrived as time went on. Even worse, they all seemed to be coming from his intended exit, and plenty of them were just standing around. Shuffling into the cover of the bush nearest the exit, Lucky considered his options.

His immediate idea was to make a mad dash for it. Obviously viable, but not the most attractive option. He could have tried to wait it out, but it significantly increased his odds of being spotted by a large group. _Plus, who the fuck has time for that?_ A younger inkling gave Lucky another idea. He was no older than fourteen, and wearing a green parka, so big it looked like it was made for a Kraken. Grinning, Lucky slid his ID and his emergency credit card out of his wallet.

"Psst. Hey, kid." Lucky said, just loud enough to catch the young inkling's ear.

Blinking and looking away from his phone, the youth cast about, utterly oblivious to Lucky's whereabouts.

"Over here. In the bushes." Lucky continued.

Stuffing his phone into his pocket and turning towards Lucky, the young man stepped closer, muttering under his breath. "Uh, yeah..?"

"Want to make a quick buck? Gimme your jacket."

"Sorry?" The youth replied, stepping just a little closer.

"Your coat. I'll pay you for it."

Squinting into the bushes, the young man moved closer still. "How much..?"

"Everything in my wallet."

The youth stopped dead in his tracks, crossing his arms and puffing his chest out. "What's that supposed to mean? Come on, give me a number."

"Look, do you want it or not?"

The young man made a show of looking thoughtful. Evidently, the coat was worth gambling away, and he shucked it and held out his hand. "Fine. It's not that nice anyway. Pay up."

"I need you to come a little bit closer."

"What?" The youth asked, suddenly incredulous. "No way. I've seen plenty of horror movies. You're not dragging me in there."

"Seriously? That's where you draw the line? Just throw your damn coat down, and I'll throw the wallet, okay? On three." Lucky waited for some sign of approval from the young man, and got a small nod from him. "One. Two. Three."

To Lucky's surprise, he threw the coat down on three. Laughing, he reached out and snatched it up. He briefly considered just putting it on and hauling ass out of there, but decided against it. He wasn't _that_ much of a dick. He tossed his wallet down onto the concrete before he put the jacket on and zipped it all the way up. It was certainly serviceable; it reached all the way down to the middle of his thighs, and did pretty damn good job of covering his dangly bits.

The young man stooped over to pick up the wallet, and Lucky knew that this was his cue to get a move on. He burst out of the bushes, valuable stuffed into his pocket, and speed-walked towards the streets.

"Thanks for the coat!" Lucky called, waving over his shoulder without bothering to look back.

There was a short pause, and Lucky briefly wondered if the young man was actually satisfied with the gas station gift card that was left in his wallet.

"You asshole!" Came the youth's voice, assuring Lucky that he wasn't.

Grinning like the smug bastard he was, Lucky broke into a sprint, just to be sure that the young man didn't think of chasing after him. He ignored the dirty and confused looks and focused instead on getting home as quickly as possible. The suburbs were just a short run away, and once Lucky saw picket fences and mailboxes, he knew he was almost home free. His sprint slowed to a jog, and as the suburbs gave way to the tall, crowded shapes of apartments, he finally slowed to a walk. Now that he was where people recognized him, he made more of an effort to not make an ass of himself. At the corner across from his complex, he stopped to put his hood up before continuing on and into the building. His neighbors, an athletic boy with bright eyes, and a cute girl with absurdly pale skin who were either cousins or fucking, were chatting near the mailboxes.

Lucky put his head down and hustled past them and up the stairs. They noticed him enter, and both said some form of hello. Lucky gave them an intentionally mumbled response and a half-hearted wave. They didn't seem to notice his lack of pants until his was up the first flight of stairs.

"Was that guy naked?" The girl asked after a moment, sounding as if she had just realized it.

"Holy crap." The boy replied. _So clean._ "Hey, buddy!"

" _Fuck!_ " Lucky spat, not meaning to.

When he heard the boy start coming up the stairs, he actually panicked, and cursed again. He flew up the next two flights of stairs, and threw open the door to his hallway. It was empty, _thank fuck_ , and Lucky kicked the door shut behind him, even as he ran to his door and opened it. Closing his door behind him, he slumped against it and sighed in relief. _Good thing I don't have shit worth stealing._ If the door had been locked, he would have been _screwed_.

 _I'm definitely not an exhibitionist,_ Lucky thought with a laugh.

Shaking his head, he unzipped his new coat and tossed it on the couch. Lucky spent a few moments wondering if he wanted to shower or to take a nap, but both options were swept off the table when he heard somebody knock at his door. With a suspicion of who it could be, Lucky went to his dresser, remembered his clothes were dirty, and cursed.

"Hang on!" Lucky shouted, going to his clothes hamper.

A little bit grossed out, Lucky hurriedly pulled on the cleanest pair of pants and shirt he could find.

He opened the door and was unsurprised when his neighbor was standing there, looking mildly perturbed.

"Hey, uh… You haven't seen anybody weird come by, have you?" He asked, almost nervously.

Lucky put on a confused face. "Uh, no, not really. Weird how?"

The neighbor shook his head and shrugged. "Forget about it."

Lucky was going to press to issue just to sell it, when his _other_ neighbor came up, looking just as flustered as her companion.

"Mrs. Parson hasn't seen anybody." She said.

Looking at Lucky, she flashed him a brief smile, before quickly glancing through his doorway. It seemed like a cursory glance with no ill-intent, but something changed on her face, and she leaned over to whisper something in her companion's ear. His face changed too, for just an instant, before he smiled at Lucky.

"Right. Sorry to bother you over nothing. Have a good day." He said, and the both of them stepped away.

Lucky frowned as he closed his door, wondering what could possibly have prompted such a strange change of attitude. Turning around, he glanced around his apartment, looking for whatever they had seen, and then it hit him.

Laying right there on the couch, for everyone to see.

" _Motherfucker!_ "


End file.
